The Biography of Aldeenea Christabel

My real name is confidential, anyone to whom it is disclosed will die a long and painful death.

I have written over a thousand essays, from which over eight hundred of them have won or have been nominated in prestigious competitions. I have spoken to both God and Jesus on more than one occasion, and in neither of those occasions have I shed tears.

I am in all honesty an undercover assasin from Sweden in search of the most notorious criminal in the entire world whose lair is located below Springfield.  I have received scholarships from MIT and Harvard, and I have traveled across the world to countries beyond the reach of humanity, and I then discovered a new continent located on the coves of Great Britain.

I have a black belt in Karate, and have mastered nearly all kinds of different Martial Arts, I can arm, disarm, clean and shoot over fifty kinds of guns. I can dislocate someone's shoulders and knees in a matter of seconds whilst being blindfolded.

I have painted a version of Mona Lisa which has been decided by the Paris Art Commitee to be multiple times better than DaVinchi's . I can play every instrument in the orchestra, and have orchestrated an entire Mozart piece perfectly without any other members.

I have mastered quantum theory and have proven the string theory, I am a mere amateur astronomer, yet I have discovered over 10 kinds of new constellations. I have baked the most amazing brownies and muffins.

I have skipped kindergarten and have immediately entered elementary school when I was 2 years old. I skipped grades all the way till college. I have built a particle accelerator at the age of 10 using a microwave as a furnace.

I have won the nobel prize nearly every year in multiple categories. I have cycled up mount everest, I have found the cure for AIDs and am on the way towards finding one for Cancer. I have cloned myself  using a genetical DNA sequence engine I have invented.

I can checkmate in 2 moves. I have solved the rubiks cube. I have found out the meaning of life and the secrets of the universe, I have more money than Bill Gates, I have joined forces with the me from a parallel world to conquer the entire universe.

I have found a way to ressurect dead people and turn charcoal into gold.