Age: (Classified)
Location: (Classified)
Gender: (Classified)
Likes: (Classified)
Dislikes: (Classified)
No one is sure on whether or not 'Alex' is his/her (again, no info available, but we'll go with he for the heck of it) real name. All that is known is that he has the influence to cause riots in Thailand and Egypt, instigate the Russian annexation of Crimea, cause an entire Gerald R. Ford-class aircraft carrier to disappear, and make Manchester United fall from grace.
His other achievements include conquering Middle Earth, exterminating wizards from Harry Plopper just for the heck of it, destroying Alderaan with the third Death Star, building a starship named Enterprise and putting a man named Picard in charge of it, peeing on the Reaper Harbinger, and creating SPARTAN super-soldiers to fight primitive blue monkeys on the Forest Moon of Endor- no, that was Pandora. Afterwards he blew up Pandora with a NOVA bomb, cloned a race of midgets and named them Asgard, told superman to put his undies on the inside, actually killed Joker (Batman version), hired a cripple nicknamed Joker to pilot an advanced stealth frigate named Normandy, causing a supernova (FOR SCIENCE!!!), forming a scientific/intelligence gathering/terrorist group named Cerberus, cloning both Martin Sheen and Yvonne Strahovski to lead said terrorist organization, and blowing up the terrorist headquarters with a Galaxy Gun.
Oh, and he's also the richest person in the universe. And he has an infinite armada of Death Stars and Star Destroyers, thanks to the Star Forge. He also regularly revives Osama Bin Laden and Justin bieber with a Gou'ald Sarcophagus to kill him...repeatedly...again...and again. And he also cured Cancer, AIDS, etc, while cloning billions of clone troopers and gaining immortality.
EXTRAS:
The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life and the Universe is NOT 42.
Ah, who am i kidding? All of the above is bull...but it is glorious (wistful look). Now witness the POWER OF THE DARK XBOX...wha?
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